THE NOT‐SFSOC 1998 QUESTIONNAIRE

Justin B Rye 14 May 98
(contents will not be updated!)

From Alison Rowan Tue May 12 18:13:03 1998
Subject: the Not-SFSoc Questionnaire.

Here's something to keep you busy...

I've mentioned it to some of you already. The idea is that it's like an SFSoc questionnaire, you put it on your web pages (or on hedonism if you don't want it at work or whatever), and then we've got a group of answers that I'll index. Just for the sake of it really. And because I think people need web pages.
Who are you?
Round here they call me jbr@xibalba…
What do you want?
Nothing for me thanks, I'm fine.
How will it end?
In X.
What's it all about, though, when you get right down to it – I mean, really?
Consciousness is knowing what you thought last; free‐will is not knowing what you'll think next.
What do you “do”?
I am an Atmospheric Contiguity Control Operative in the service of Her Britannic Majesty's Ministry of Dole.
Who would you most like to have assassinated?
I would most like to have assassinated Pol Pot.
Who would you most like to commission a statue of?
Barry J Bayley riding Alexander's Horned Sphere.
Right now, what is your favourite: film, colour, record, book, TV show, comic, magazine, stone, tree, animal and item of clothing.
Answers written in random order get extra points.
(Inappropriate categories have been reassigned.)
  • Twelve Monkeys.
  • Green and/or grey.
  • “My dog's got no skin!”  (“How does he feel?”…)
  • The Scratch‐and‐Sniff OED.
  • Not Star Trek.
  • Rhombic dodecahedra.
  • Lapsang souchong with chillies.
  • Pumice.
  • Hexadecimal Planck Units.
  • Hard‐boiled goats.
  • Pockets.
Name a hobby or pastime of yours that is respectable enough to put on a CV.
Webmastery, apparently.
Name any non‐respectable hobbies or pastimes of yours (optional).
Cooking – if you've seen my cooking…
Which words or sayings do you overuse?  Stop it.
“Ah, but if you did it too much, the entire universe would be destroyed.  Logically, if—”
What should we buy you if we're going to the corner shop?
(Note things that are actually stocked in the corner shop are more likely to meet with success.)
See if they've got any spare shelves.
How do you take your tea/coffee?
Strong; some'n'some.
What is your favourite eight letter word?
A quick lexico‐statistical test says it's “ACTUALLY”.
Have you got any words of advice for young people?
“You're doomed, give up now!”
And now the traditional “big question”:
for reasons we won't go into [pity!], a mysterious benefactor has permitted you to travel back in time…
Which historical event do you choose to witness?
The invention of the time machine.
What souvenir would you bring back with you (from any time zone)?
A pressed Cretaceous butterfly.
There are a lot of time travellers out there.  In the course of your travels you overhear some people from our future talking about our present.  What do they say?
“I'm sure it was late‐twentieth – none of them were wearing hats.”
You aren't supposed to meddle, but due to your benefactor's not paying attention, you have the chance to send a message to one person any time in the past – what is it?
Robert A Heinlein: “Twenty percent – must try harder”.
On your return from the past you realise that a certain thing has not been invented – what is it, and would you go on to invent it yourself or leave well enough alone?
If it's Esperanto, I hope not.
And for your bonus point – can you think of a better name for hedonism/xibalba/badan/etc. than Not‐SFSoc?  Please?
Er… Xibadonism?  Eudemonia?  The Diversity of Edinburgh?
PS (25 May 98): Or if the youngsters in SFSoc want to call themselves “DREAM”, how about “WAKE”?