From Alison Rowan Tue May 12 18:13:03 1998
Subject: the Not-SFSoc Questionnaire.
Here's something to keep you busy...
I've mentioned it to some of you already. The idea is that it's
like an SFSoc questionnaire, you put it on your web pages (or on
hedonism if you don't want it at work or whatever), and then we've
got a group of answers that I'll index. Just for the sake of it
really. And because I think people need web pages.
- Who are you?
- Round here they call me
- What do you want?
- Nothing for me thanks, I'm fine.
- How will it end?
- In X.
What's it all about, though, when you get right down to
it – I mean, really?
Consciousness is knowing what you thought last; free‐will is not
knowing what you'll think next.
- What do you “do”?
I am an Atmospheric Contiguity Control Operative in the service
of Her Britannic Majesty's Ministry of Dole.
- Who would you most like to have assassinated?
- I would most like to have assassinated Pol Pot.
- Who would you most like to commission a statue of?
- Barry J Bayley riding Alexander's Horned Sphere.
Right now, what is your favourite: film, colour, record, book, TV
show, comic, magazine, stone, tree, animal and item of
Answers written in random order get extra points.
(Inappropriate categories have been reassigned.)
Name a hobby or pastime of yours that is respectable enough to
put on a CV.
- Webmastery, apparently.
Name any non‐respectable hobbies or pastimes of yours (optional).
- Cooking – if you've seen my cooking…
- Which words or sayings do you overuse? Stop it.
“Ah, but if you did it too much, the entire universe would
be destroyed. Logically, if—”
What should we buy you if we're going to the corner shop?
(Note things that are actually stocked in the corner shop are
more likely to meet with success.)
- See if they've got any spare shelves.
- How do you take your tea/coffee?
- What is your favourite eight letter word?
A quick lexico‐statistical test says it's “ACTUALLY”.
- Have you got any words of advice for young people?
- “You're doomed, give up now!”
- And now the traditional “big question”:
for reasons we won't go into
[pity!], a mysterious benefactor has
permitted you to travel back in time…
- Which historical event do you choose to witness?
- The invention of the time machine.
What souvenir would you bring back with you (from any time zone)?
- A pressed Cretaceous butterfly.
There are a lot of time travellers out there. In the course
of your travels you overhear some people from our future talking
about our present. What do they say?
“I'm sure it was late‐twentieth – none of them were
You aren't supposed to meddle, but due to your benefactor's not
paying attention, you have the chance to send a message to one
person any time in the past – what is it?
Robert A Heinlein: “Twenty
percent – must try harder”.
On your return from the past you realise that a certain thing has
not been invented – what is it, and would you go on to
invent it yourself or leave well enough alone?
- If it's Esperanto, I hope not.
And for your bonus point – can you think of a better
name for hedonism/xibalba/badan/etc. than
Er… Xibadonism? Eudemonia? The Diversity of
PS (25 May 98): Or if the youngsters in
SFSoc want to call themselves
“DREAM”, how about “WAKE”?