The SCI‐FI‐I‐SPY Catalogue of All Known Types of Alien

Identification: glowing polyhedra, indistinguishable from any normal outcropping of fluorescent perspex

Variants: inexplicably cut gemstones or sentient crystal balls

Also Known As: Auroraureans, Astralians, or Cosmo‐Intellectuals

Origin: just sitting about on some random planet (or sometimes found in meteorites)

LOOKS: pretty in an abstract way B+
BRAINS: the only sign of intelligence is that they have stupendous psychic hectoring powers 60
LETHALITY: kaleidoscopic polarised beams of raw unpleasant­ness 0.14
CULTURE: they always claim to have inspired the Ancient Egyptians, which would make them bronze age 14
HARDNESS: they're on the regular Mohs scale, but they're right off the bottom of the SF one 0
TOKENISM: organising your psychic crystals is very important for Feng Shui 37

Religion: omniholistic spiritual mysticism

Lustre: vitreous or adamantine

Natural Predators: the Macropygmoids (who grind them up and sprinkle them over their food)

Weakness: (space‐)operatic sopranos

Hobbies: meditation, or at any rate internal reflection

Affiliated With: they were a customary 1500th wedding anniversary gift in Palaeosophontoid tradition