The SCI‐FI‐I‐SPY Catalogue of All Known Types of Alien

Identification: genetically almost identical to Earthmen, but one of the most alien on the list as far as the average fan's concerned

Variants: range from (mute) Astro‐Bimboids to (shouty) Space‐Amazoids

Also Known As: Dulcians, Lailoolahlenes, or Wo‐Men

Origin: Planet XX, also known as Space‐Venus

LOOKS: distinctive body fat distribution and (often) skin coloration A++
BRAINS: unreliable, but gifted with an uncanny ability to notice the blatantly obvious 101
LETHALITY: either have special mystical powers or (more usefully) an oversize gun 0.2
CULTURE: superficially idyllic, but prone to instability once they realise there's one thing they've been missing 48
HARDNESS: on the SF Mohs scale alongside the gemstone fluorite 4
TOKENISM: have this one largely sewn up 92

Greatest Wish: world peace

Wardrobe: could join the Pantellurian Fraternity, but prefer highly reflective clothing in small doses

Affiliated With: the Fellowship of Responsible Planetary Governments

Not To Be Confused With: the Felinoids, who only sound similar

Not Affiliated With: the Silicon Federation

Bechdel Compliance: if you see two (named) Feminoids talk to one another about something besides a man, odds are, one of them's a Polymorphoid and the other's a Synthumazoid