The SCI‐FI‐I‐SPY Catalogue of All Known Types of Alien
#29: PALAEOSOPHONTOIDS

Identification: they became extinct a million years ago, which is fortunate, because they're insufferable

Variants: alive but incommunicado – sleeping, or contemplating, or playing hypertetris

Also Known As: Predecessors, Posthumians, or Great‐Grand‐Ones

Origin: the forbidden or at least deprecated tombworld of Cyclorama

LOOKS: offstage, but they've left behind some impressive special effects B−
BRAINS: super‐duper‐intelligent, with one tragic flaw 500
LETHALITY: safe unless you're a looter – if their last blog entry mentions some really great new invention, trust me, you don't want it 0.03
CULTURE: unintelligibly advanced, and fond of monolithic architecture with inadequate safety rails 96
HARDNESS: statistically speaking, encounters with dead races should be far commoner than any other sort
TOKENISM: token retirees 54

Hobbies: landscape gardening and applied theology

Weakness: hubris

Motto: Look on my works ye Mighty, and despair

Wardrobe: judging by archaeological studies of their buildings, Pantellurian Fraternity‐compliant, but very dated – even their doorways were flared

Affiliated With: original sponsors of the Union of Field Observers and probably the Fellowship of Responsible Planetary Governments

Not To Be Confused With: those johnny‐come‐lately Romanoids