The SCI‐FI‐I‐SPY Catalogue of All Known Types of Alien

Identification: anomalous phenomena that seem to be behaving almost as if they were… alive!

Variants: range from space‐fantasy psi‐nexus twisters to hard‐SF magneto­hydrodynamic energy fields

Also Known As: Photohelices, Psychogyres, or Plasmovolutes

Origin: a black hole accretion disk, nth‐dimensional quantum roundabout, or chronospastic infarction

LOOKS: once you've upgraded and recalibrated your bioscanners they're fairly decorative B−
BRAINS: once you've upgraded and recalibrated your IQ‐scanners they're still only decorative 55
LETHALITY: high, but not intentional 0.35
CULTURE: they claim to have one, but it never shows up on the socio­scanners even after you've upgraded and recalibrated them 12
HARDNESS: moderate, though their average nosedives if you include Cosmic Encounter
TOKENISM: antimatter tokenism, which unfortunately works backwards −50

Religion: whirling dervishism

Hobbies: morris dancing

Arch‐Rivals: the obvious‐but‐impossible Spectraloids

Natural Predators: the Hyperextremophiloids, accidentally

Affiliated With: secretly in league with the scanner manufacturers, I bet