The SCI‐FI‐I‐SPY Catalogue of All Known Types of Alien

Identification: thoroughly but coincidentally humanoid aliens who already have a well‐established empire

Variants: the kind that look human because they're our cousins – we're descended from their lost colonies, or vice versa

Also Known As: Nordics, Ramoneans, or Star‐Aryans

Origin: the superurban planet Capitolinus, or occasionally the decadent far future

LOOKS: on average slightly better‐looking than us, but then they go and dress in polyester bedsheets A
BRAINS: they're slightly smarter than us, but the first human con‐artist to get to them has it made 110
LETHALITY: they have enormous fleets of warp‐dread­noughts, but their police are only armed with neuro‐truncheons 0.15
CULTURE: sophisticated and orderly – i.e., a fascist dictatorship 78
HARDNESS: seen in everything from space fantasy to physics‐puzzlers
TOKENISM: oddly, aristocrats don't get any points for being a minority 02

Religion: a well‐stocked but strangely familiar pantheon

Wardrobe: under the space‐toga they may be members of the Pantellurian Fraternity

Hobbies: acting classical and vice versa


Affiliated With: occasional members of the Union of Field Observers

Not To Be Confused With: the Graciloids, who consider themselves above such petty imperialistic displays of supremacy