The SCI‐FI‐I‐SPY Catalogue of All Known Types of Alien

Identification: wide‐eyed alien babies (who's got your nose?)

Variants: pointy ears and/or little ornamental antennae

Also Known As: Greys; formerly Little Greens; before that, Leprechauns

Origin: if they tell you Zeta Reticuli, don't believe them

LOOKS: were slightly less creepy before they went grey overnight B
BRAINS: the convoluted plans aren't because they're cunning, it's because they're anally fixated conspiracy nuts 135
LETHALITY: hopeless in a stand‐up fight (especially if they lose their contact lenses) 0.035
CULTURE: usually try to pass off wacky gibberish for alien concept­ualisation 50
HARDNESS: may serve as “default ETs” for otherwise realistic backgrounds
TOKENISM: apparent multiple types of Zeta­reticuloid in one setting are really just variably garbled accounts of the same species from people with different mental illnesses 29

Religion: Discordian

Hobbies: annoying farmers

Weakness: yodelling

Wardrobe: mylar romper suits

Affiliated With: backbone of the Union of Field Observers

Not Affiliated With: the Parahominoids, though they may have given them a lift once