Have you ever wondered what kind of adventures the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk would have run into in the fourth year of their five‐year mission, if it hadn't been cancelled after three? You have? Well, stop it! We all know perfectly well what they'd have run into – more of the same, as generated from the standard formula reproduced below.
To create a new Star Trek (TOS) plotline, simply run through the table from the top, following any path you like as long as you only go downwards or across within a cell, and assemble its output into an episode synopsis! All resulting scripts are guaranteed to contain at least 20 percent authentic‐style Roddenberry flavouring and are practically indistinguishable from real episodes of the Original Series, not to mention the Animated Series (ever).
Whilst | |||||||||||
boldly going where no man has gone before | ferrying bigwigs about |
on leave |
investigating a | carrying out a vital mission of mercy | taking a shortcut through the Neutral Zone | ||||||
doomed world |
strangely familiar world |
time warp |
space warp |
form of energy never previously encountered |
distress signal |
||||||
… | |||||||||||
Captain Kirk | Spock | Bones | Scotty | the crew of the USS Enterprise | the guest star | ||||||
… | |||||||||||
… |
falls in love |
gets brainwashed |
is put on trial |
starts ageing rapidly |
apparently dies |
falls ill |
gets lost |
||||
when the Enterprise | |||||||||||
encounters | |||||||||||
an apparent | … | ||||||||||
conman | monster | duplicate of | madhouse | paradise | |||||||
Kirk | Spock | an old friend | a human being | Abraham Lincoln | some historical period on Earth | the Enterprise | |||||
which is | which is | ||||||||||
in fact | in fact | ||||||||||
an android | a shapechanger | not what it seems | |||||||||
… | |||||||||||
… | – as well as | ||||||||||
… | |||||||||||
something |
a horde of little things |
a godlike |
a gang of superbeings |
a Klingon | a Romulan | ||||||
shapeless | huge | computer | being | captain with a | |||||||
which tries to ingest | which pisses them about | grudge | new secret weapon | ||||||||
them | everything | as a test | for fun | who ambushes them | |||||||
and [pick one or more] | |||||||||||
drains the dilithium crystals | hijacks the Enterprise | picks off the security guards | isolates the landing party | depletes the shields to 5 % | |||||||
… | |||||||||||
but their opponent turns out to be | … | ||||||||||
… | mad | all alone | well meaning | misled | just a kid | ||||||
and | |||||||||||
vulnerable to | … | ||||||||||
gibberish | a show of emotion | a cunning bluff | a good talking to | violence | |||||||
and | |||||||||||
dies, | leaves, | so | |||||||||
the guest star dies a heroic death, | Kirk delivers a | Bones develops a vaccine, | Spock does | Scotty juryrigs the engines, | |||||||
speech, | right hook, | something seemingly illogical, | a mindmeld, | ||||||||
which means everything turns out okay, | |||||||||||
and the planet is saved in the nick of time. |
give or take a few personal tragedies. |
and everybody forgets it ever happened. |
though a few regulations have been broken. |
||||||||
Then, finally | |||||||||||
Kirk | Spock | Bones | Scotty | Sulu | Chekov | ||||||
says something | |||||||||||
smug | witty | worthy | snappy | ||||||||
and they leave at warp factor [2d6−1]. |